Thursday, April 2, 2009

Shaft & Wheat

In tough times, there is a separation of the shaft & wheat that exist in all of us. There is shaft which is unfruitful and unusable, just waste and then there is the wheat that has substance and value and sustains life.

I had a friend that I had not seen in a while, who is also a breast cancer survivor, that had been on my mind for a couple of days even waking up one morning thinking about her. Amazingly enough, that same morning she called me. She had heard I was back in treatment and she had been there with me five years ago when I received the report of healing. In fact, every time our paths have crossed she would break out into tears remembering what God had done in my life. She had many questions and honestly I didn't have too many answers except that my life belongs to God so my only job is to breathe.

She went on to tell me that she had her five year check up last year and was told she was completely free of cancer and in that instant, that very second, my flesh didn't hesitate to taunt me by asking, "Why didn't you get that report both times you were five years out from either of those cancers?" I was quickly reminded that five years out from vulva cancer I was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer and five years to the very day from the breast cancer diagnoses I was told there were brand new spots that needed to be treated. But those thoughts which were obviously - the "shaft" were stopped cold in their tracks as I was reminded of a message I had heard via internet from TD Jakes' Potter's House service on Sunday when this young preacher asked "How mature is your walk with Christ?" -"For real". He asked if you would be able to celebrate for someone else who may be getting a report that you have been waiting and praying for. At that moment, the Holy Spirit asked me a question - "Can you celebrate this report with her though it is the one you seek? I realized that even though I am happy for her and I want everyone to have victory over sickness and disease or whatever their battle might be that we as Christ followers have to make a determined decision to be what we are called to be - the "wheat". It does not come natural as we are all so messed up in general. I mean the shaft is just there naturally and it requires action to remove it. I celebrated with her and I meant it from the depth of my spirit. Test come and they separate the shaft and the wheat and my most desperate prayer is that the Holy Spirit will always keep me in check and will remove anything that would separate me from His best and the love for others.