Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I still have faith in God!

The first thing I do when I return home from a visit to the doc is bathe...."washing away bone mets, maybe?", as if it would be that easy. If only those of us who have fought and fight cancer could just simply wash away the disease.
So the facts are lots of bone mets in my bones, it's not a disaster. I am not traumatized.
I have learned while battling a couple of hateful cancers over the past twelve years that I have been blessed with faith, "the gift of faith". I don't boast in the things of this world as I have none really to boast about. I have a moderate home and live a middle class life but what I boast in is the things of God. That God offers us so much peace and courage that I can say to fear, "You will never have me!" I can say to worry, "You don't belong in my life!"
I know God gives those who hold on to their confidence in Him the reward of courage and strength. There really is peace that surpasses all understanding. For those people who walk in relationship with Him, He supplies every need in every situation. I'll be honest with you, I don't know how this whole thing will play out or how long it will take to play out. I DON'T CARE!...what I know is the creator of this universe who spoke time into existence is own my side. I'll be even more transparent with you...there are days, times that I would rather go home to heaven where life really begins.
There will be a day when I will remember these times of test, shots, doctor's visits and treatment rooms, no more. This life is only a breath of eternity...
sometimes I want to make the decision to stop all of this, close my eyes and leave this body that has caused me so much trouble but that would be against all that I believe in. See, I believe in a forgiven God and a healing God. It is not Biblically correct for me to decide that I am not going to fight this fight. Paul said to "Fight the good fight of faith". Healing was as much part of the ministry of Jesus as salvation. Funny how the disciples could accept the healing but could not understand salvation and now we can accept salvation but not healing. As much as I want to go home where my citizenship exist, I believe I will stick around a while and proclaim God's goodness.
Though I walk sometimes in the valley of the shadow of death, I will never fear! He created me and the Word says He "Knew me" before I was formed in my mother's womb. I know that as long as I breathe, I have purpose. I give all of this to him!
I still have faith in God!